On Naming Your Child

by Laurie Ball-Gisch

Naming your child is one of the most personal, pleasant and frustrating tasks in becoming a parent. For parents adopting internationally, this process is complicated because most of the children have already been given names in their country of origin. Unlike biological children who come to use unadorned, our children have a culture, a heritage and a name that we must come to terms with, in one way or another.

Some lucky parents receive referrals of children who had exactly the name they would have chosen for their child. What do we do if we don’t care for the child’s name, if it can not be easily spelled or pronounced and would always set our child apart? In order to preserve the heritage, we can use it as a middle name. We can search for an Americanized version of the name. We can start with a new name and hope that our children forgive us later. Sometimes the name we have chosen does not seem to fit the child in the referral video or photo.

Often we select a family name, to help the child feel more a part of the family as she grows older and examines the family tree. Occasionally, older siblings may have a role in choosing the name.

One difficulty in naming any child is our own background. We know people who "ruin" a name for us. Friends and relatives close to us may have already "taken" the name we would have chosen, or worse yet, named a pet with your favorite name! An added complication is when you proudly announce your top contenders to your family only have them say things like "Daisy Duke" or "Willy Wonka".

You also need to consider your child’s initials. If we called our child Delia Olga Gisch, her initials would be D.O.G.! So, you are back to playing the name game and trying somehow to find just the right fit for her and for you.

One of the saddest dilemmas facing parents who adopt internationally is naming a child after you’ve accepted the referral, only to have the adoption fall through. Also hard is losing a biological child. When it came our turn to name the second referral, I had a very difficult time. We referred to her by the name she came with, Olga, and it wasn’t until we were forced to write a name on the Application to Adopt that went into our dossier, that we could say her new name out loud. When you go through several names in one year, it becomes increasingly difficult to find a name that you still love and will fit the new child. I’ve met one couple who have named and lost 3 referrals in the past 18 months and who are having an impossible time naming their latest referral. What should be a fun and joyful experience becomes one fraught with sadness and fear.

Since so many children are being referred for international adoption from Eastern European countries, I have compiled a condensed list of some of the more common Russian names. These are excerpted from a wonderful book called "A World of Baby Names" by Teresa Norman (The Berkeley Publishing Group, NY, 1996). Ms. Norman has listed over 30,000 names, categorized by country and there are also names grouped from biblical and mythological sources. Also included are pronunciations, as well as name origins and their various meanings.

Alexander, Alexandra, Alexa - defender of mankind
Andrei - manly
Antatoli - sunrise
Anton - priceless
Anya, Anna - grace
Boris - battle, fight
Daria, Dasha - gift of God
Denis - God of wine
Dimitri - from goddess of the harvest
Duscha - happy
Ekaterina - pure
Elena - bright light
Evgeni, Evgenia - noble
Fedor - gift of God
Grigori - vigilant
Igor - archer
Inessa - sacred
Irina - peace
Ivan, Ivana - God’s precious gift
Konstantin - steadfast
Larisa - cheerful
Ludmila - love of people
Luiza - famous in war
Marina - sea maid
Masha - bitter
Mikhail - who is like God
Nadya - hope
Natalia - born at Christmas
Nicolia - victory of the people
Nikita - unconquered
Oksana - praise be to God
Oleg, Olya, Olga - holy
Pavel, Pasha - little
Sofia, Sonya - wisdom
Stanislav - glorious government
Stefan - a crown
Svetlana - star, bright
Tatiana, Tanya - fairy queen
Timofei - honor God
Valentin, Valentina - strong
Vasilei - royal
Vera - faith
Victor - conqueror
Vitali - lifegiving
Vladimir - glorious rule
Vycheslav - elder glory
Yoanna - gracious
Yulia, Julia - youth
Yuri - farmer
Zoya - life